THE WHITE ELEPHANT RIDE
Starring TONY JAA, RUN-RUN/JIG-JIG, DEKE WEAVER and MAYA as Buddha’s Mother
Brought to you by BEER CHANG, The Elephant Beer
Tony Jaa wants to go where he can’t be found.
Tony Jaa runs into Maya’s dream the night before she gives birth to the Buddha.
In Maya’s dream Tony Jaa is The King of the White Elephant.
In Maya’s dream Tony Jaa is a commercial for Beer Chang.
In Maya’s dream Tony Jaa is the remake of The King of the White Elephant sponsored by Beer Chang.
In Maya’s dream Tony Jaa is at the train station.
Run-Run/Jig-Jig says the hills look like white elephants.
They are drinking coconut water out of shot glasses. Tony Jaa is not paying attention.
“I’m looking for a gift and a curse.”
“Could we try it?”
Run-Run/Jig-Jig is holding Tiger’s eyes in hir palms. They are wet and cold white eggs.
When I close my eyes, I’m being chased by a Tiger. I want to go where I can’t be found.
In Maya’s dream she’s drinking a jug of white milk. She’s lactose intolerant.
The white milk becomes a huge lake that freezes into white ice.
Maya is on a white iceberg in the white lake.
She’s visited by a white tiger with crossed eyes, a Siamese cat with crossed eyes, and a white elephant.
The white tiger offers her its eyes.
The Siamese cat offers her its eyes.
The white elephant offers her an Xmas card with a lotus flower on the front.
Maya takes the lotus flower Xmas card.
The four eyes drop to the snowy bank, affixed to crystals of ice.
She’s an iceberg.
She wakes up.
All I want is white.
Tony Jaa runs out onto the platform. The train is nowhere in sight.
Deke Weaver is at a white church dressed as a little old white lady from Elkton, South Dakota.
Deke Weaver is setting up the white elephant sale and the white elephant gift exchange.
Deke Weaver has a stack of Xmas cards with white elephants on them.
Run-Run/Jig-Jig and Tony Jaa find an iceberg.
Here’s where we can’t be found. Here’s where all the lost things are.
They omit. Inside are all the white elephants that can’t escape.
Maya, Run-Run/Jig-Jig, Tony Jaa and Deke Weaver are at the white elephant gift exchange in the white church.
They sit in a white circle on white lawn chairs.
Run-Run/Jig-Jig has two Tiger’s eyes.
Maya has a stack of Xmas cards with white elephants on them.
Tony Jaa has The King of the White Elephant on DVD.
Deke Weaver just picked a Beer Chang t-shirt, but he wants to steal.
No one is ready to give up.
In Maya’s dream everything is white.
Run-Run/Jig-Jig, Maya, Tony Jaa and Deke Weaver go on a white elephant ride through the white fog around the white iceberg walking in her white sleep.
They stop and drink white tea with white half and half and the white steam rising up.
It starts to white snow.
Run-Run/Jig-Jig looks at the whites of Tony Jaa’s eyes, which are actually pink.
Maya opens one of the cards and begins to write. Wishing you all the white…
Tony Jaa tosses the DVD case to the floor.
Maya wakes up.
There’s a white elephant in the room!
I want it. I want what I lost.
Maya omits the iceberg from her dream.
Run-Run/Jig-Jig, Tony Jaa, Deke Weaver and all the white elephants in it.
Maya gives birth to all the white.
White milk, white ice, white snow, white elephants, white tourists, white rice, white tigers, white Siamese cats with crossed eyes.
They all grow darker in the cold.
Run-Run/Jig-Jig squeezes the Tiger’s eyes in hir fists until they burst.
I’ve crossed them. Now I can’t be found.
I’m in love with Tony Jaa, but I don’t want to have his white elephant.
When I close my eyes, all I see are white elephants. Inside me, something omits.
Run-Run/Jig-Jig runs out to the platform. The train has just left the station.
Run-Run/Jig-Jig stares at the hills of alleged white elephant projects through the white smoke.
Tony Jaa is looking for a gift and a curse.
The white elephant wants to go where it can’t be found.
Jai Arun Ravine is a writer, dancer and graphic designer. They are the author of แล้ว AND THEN ENTWINE: LESSON PLANS, POEMS, KNOTS and the director of the short film TOM/TRANS/THAI, which has screened in Bangkok, Barcelona, Cuba, Los Angeles, San Francisco and Stockholm, among others. For more, click here.